


Birthday Tribbles

by BeccaAnne814



Series: Tony Stark x Reader Oneshots [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies), Iron Man - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, cursing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-11-30 20:29:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11471097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeccaAnne814/pseuds/BeccaAnne814
Summary: Tony tries to get you the perfect birthday present, but he ends up in over his head.





	Birthday Tribbles

**Author's Note:**

  * For [buckyseyesandthighs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckyseyesandthighs/gifts).



Bruce and Tony had just finished up some research in the lab and were hoping to join the rest of the team for a little downtime, but that just wasn't going to happen.  (Y/N) and Sam seemed to be in the middle of another argument while Steve and Bucky sat on the couch, eating popcorn and watching the two pig-headed Avengers scream at each other.  The two men stopped in the doorway, giving each a look of frustration as they tried to figure out what this one was about.

"I don't care what you say, Wilson!" (Y/N) yelled.  "If it hadn't been for the original series, there wouldn't be a reboot!"

"That may be so," he continued to argue, "but the 60s version was too cheesy to even be taken seriously!"

"Cheesy?" she asked, a look of disbelief on her face.  "Do you even realize how ahead of the times that show was for the 60s?  Not only was some of the technology we have today inspired by that show, but the way it portrayed woman and people of color!  Race wasn't even an issue on that show!  Hell, they didn't even care if you were the same species!  And all of this was going on right in the middle of the Civil Rights Movement?"

Sam had crossed his arms over his chest and given (Y/N) that trademark Sam Wilson glare.  "You honestly don't think I know all of this, (Y/N)?"

She didn't let his attitude deter her.  She got right up in his face and started poking him in the chest.  "I know you know it, which is why I can't believe you'd prefer the Chris Pine version over William Shatner!"

With that statement, the topic of conversation became completely clear and Tony turned to Bruce in excitement.  "I finally know what I'm going to get (Y/N) for her birthday next month."

"Oh, no," Bruce said, a worried look in his eye.  "I have a bad feeling about this.  Why do I have a bad feeling about this, Tony?"

Tony clapped him on the back and led him out of the common room and towards the lab.  "I'm going to need your help with this, big guy."

Bruce allowed himself to be ushered back into the lab, but he didn't look too happy be involved in yet another one of Tony's crazy ideas. "What are you going to do?"

"(Y/N) loves the original Star Trek, right?" he asked as he started to pull up information on the computer.  

"You're not going to try to build her a transporter, are you?" Bruce asked hesitantly as he looked over Tony's shoulder.

"No," he laughed.  "That would take longer than a month to work on.  Maybe next year.  This year, we're going to figure out how to create a Tribble."

Bruce looked relieved for a second, but worry was etched back into his features by the time Tony had finished speaking.  "A Tribble?  The cute little fluff balls that reproduce faster than bunnies?  You want to make those for (Y/N)'s birthday?  Why?"

Tony turned around and rolled his eyes at the over-cautious man.  "They're obviously not going to be exactly like the original creatures, and I'm only going to create one.  One Tribble can't do too much damage, right?"

Bruce rubbed his hand over his face as Tony kept looking up information on his computer.  By now, he'd found an article with the basic anatomy of the creatures and was starting to add different files to a folder he'd created.  "Why do I need to be involved in this, again?"

"I need you to help with the gene splicing.  I'm thinking our best bet to create this creature is to mix the DNA of rabbits, guinea pigs, and maybe hedgehogs.  Tribbles aren't supposed to have eyes, but that's going to be tough to do.  I'm thinking a hedgehog's features would be well hidden under all of that fur and would give it the look we're going for."

"This is crazy, Tony.  You're talking about creating a whole new species of animal.  Do you not see how dangerous this could be?"

"Bruce," Tony said with a sigh.  "We're creating one animal, just one.  No one is ever going to find out about it.  And think of the look on (Y/N)'s face when we give her a real live Tribble on her birthday."

Bruce thought about how happy she would be, and after the past few months, she definitely deserved a little bit of happiness.  What could go wrong?

 

Bruce and Tony spent the first few days doing the research, trying to figure out how to splice the genetic code of three different species into one.  There was a lot of trial and error, but they finally succeeded.  Once they'd figured out that part of it, the rest was simple.  They simply had to harvest the egg of a rabbit, remove the nucleus, and replace it with the new DNA strand.  They then implanted the egg back into the rabbit and waited for nature to take its course.  

It took just over a month for the rabbit to give birth, but it was well worth the wait.  The creature that emerged looked exactly like a Tribble.  It was only weighed a few ounces and fit in the palm of your hand.  It was almost perfectly round, with a small mouth and eyes that would soon be covered once the fur got thicker.  It looked as though it would be the color of milk chocolate, absolutely perfect for a Tribble.  They left the newborn with its surrogate mother and went to have a celebratory drink.  When they came back, they were surprised to find two kits nursing in the nesting box.

Bruce gave Tony a wary look.  "You don't think. . . ?"

"The egg must have split in utero," Tony supposed.  "We just have a case of twins.  It's no big deal, these things happen.  This way we have a spare in case one doesn't survive."  Tony wrapped his arm around Bruce and led him to the other end of the lab.  "You worry too much.  This is going to be great!"

 

By the end of the day, there were four Tribbles in the box with the rabbit.  "Don't even say it, Tony.  I don't want to hear you even mention the word quadruplets.  This is just like Ultron. . . "

"How is this even remotely like Ultron?" Tony asked, offended that Bruce would bring that up now.

"Oh, I don't know, Tony," Bruce continued.  "You're messing around with things that should just be left alone."  Bruce rubbed his hands over his face as he tried to figure out what they were going to do.  "Why do I keep letting you drag me into these things?"

Tony lifted an eyebrow and gave Bruce that signature cocky smile.  "Because you love being on the cutting edge of science.  You can't help yourself, Bruce.  You have a need to discover new things, to create new things. . ."

"And look where that got me?" Bruce interrupted, anger beginning to appear in his eyes.  "How much damage has 'The Other Guy' done over the years?  How much damage is this little experiment going to cause?"

"Calm down, Bruce," Tony cautioned.  "We don't need The Other Guy showing up right now.  That definitely won't help solve this problem."

Once Bruce had gotten himself under control again, he joined Tony at the computer.  "I just don't understand how it's possible.  Asexual reproduction is extremely rare, and we didn't include any DNA from species that have shown that trait."

"I don't know, and I hate not knowing," Tony admitted as he continued to research the problem.  "What I do know is that we need to figure out a way to get it to stop.  Maybe if we removed the reproductive organs, then they couldn't multiply."

"Maybe we should just scrap the whole project, Tony."

"You want to kill the cute little Tribbles?" Tony asked, going over to the nest and picking one up.  "Look how adorable it is.  You can't kill something this cute, now can you?"

Bruce gave in and began helping Tony to try to find a solution.  

 

Over the next few days, the Tribble population began to grow exponentially.  The original Tribble's fur became thicker, completely obscuring its hedgehog-like facial features, and it began to really look like a Tribble.  Tony and Bruce were still at a loss at how to solve the problem.

Things began getting worse when the lab started overflowing with the furry little creatures.  Eventually, they began escaping and it was all Tony and Bruce could do to keep the others from discovering their little infestation problem.

 

"Tony?" Steve asked as he walked into the lab the day before (Y/N)'s birthday holding a small brown ball of fur.  "What is this thing, and why is it cooing at me?"

Tony ran up and grabbed the escaped Tribble from Steve and hid it behind his back.  "Just a little project Bruce and I are working on.  Nothing to worry about."

"Tony," Steve said sternly.  "That looks like one of those Tribble things from Star Trek.  Please tell me you and Bruce didn't create one?"

"Okay, okay," Tony admitted.  "We wanted to surprise (Y/N) for her birthday, but things have gotten a bit out of hand."

Steve let out a huff and crossed his arms over his chest.  "How out of hand, Tony?"

Tony didn't answer, but instead led him to his office at the back of the lab.  There were dozens of brown balls of fur rolling around on the floor and even more on the desk and filing cabinets.  "We've tried to keep them contained in there, but this one must have escaped."

Bruce came into the lab holding another Tribble in his hands.  "Tony, we've got a proble. . ."  Upon spotting Steve, he tried to hide the creature behind his back.

"Don't bother, Bruce," Steve told him.  "Tony's already filled me in on your little science project.  I understand the motivation behind it, but haven't you two learned not to mess with things like this.  What are you going to do?"

"I've been in contact with Thor," Bruce said.  "He thinks he's found a planet somewhere in the nine realms that would be able to contain the population.  There's enough space for them to multiply and enough predators that would keep the numbers in check.  He's finishing up some things with Jane and Dr. Selvig and will be here tomorrow for (Y/N)'s birthday."

"You're not planning on showing her these things, are you?" Steve asked.

"We're thinking of sterilizing one of them so it can't reproduce," Tony explained. "That way, (Y/N) could keep one as a pet.  That was our intention to begin with. . . just one."

The three men looked back into the room and just within the span of their conversation, the Tribbles had multiplied enough to cover the entire floor of the office.

 

Tony and Bruce were able to successfully remove the reproductive organs from one of the Tribbles and after a few hours of close observation, it appeared as though the procedure had worked.  They kept the creature isolated from the others and had FRIDAY monitoring the animal closely while they worked on constructing a container for Thor to transport the creatures to their new home.

The next morning, they were relieved to see that the Tribble was still alone in its cage, but the office was now knee deep in Tribbles.  They carefully placed the cage in an elegantly wrapped box with carefully hidden air holes and took it into the common room.

(Y/N) was already up and it appeared as though the celebrations had already begun.  Wanda and Clint had been up since before dawn decorating the common room with banners, streamers, and balloons.  Vision had made dozens of pancakes and everyone was gathered around the table, eating breakfast.

"It's about time the two of you showed up!" (Y/N) exclaimed.  "Hurry before Steve and Bucky eat all of the pancakes.  I swear they eat more than humanly possible!"

"It's the serum, doll," Bucky mumbled around a bit of pancake.  "Increased metabolism and all."

Tony noticed Thor sitting at the end of the table and gave him a questioning look.  Thor nodded his head and Tony took that as a sign that their Tribble problem would soon be over.

"I know we're supposed to wait until the party this evening for presents," Tony began.  "But Bruce and I wanted to go ahead and give you ours."

"(Y/N) looked up in surprise, seeing the wrapped box in Bruce's hands.  "An early present?  I don't mind if I do!"

She jumped up from the table and ran to Bruce and Tony, giving them both a hug before she removed the lid from the box.  She reached in and drew out the cage by its handle.

"What in the world is this?" she asked.  "It looks like a Tribble!"

Tony nudged Bruce in the ribs, happy that their present had its desired reaction.  "It is, kid.  Bruce and I did a little tinkering with some genetic code, and voila, you now have your very own Tribble."

She started tearing up as she hugged them both again.  She opened the cage and pulled the small creature out, cradling it in her arms.  It began to coo as she stroked its soft fur.  "This is the best present ever!  I can't believe you guys did this for me!"

"It wasn't a big deal," Bruce said, ducking his head and rubbing the back of his neck.  

"I would have to disagree with you Dr. Banner," Thor interrupted.  "These small creatures have caused the two of you nothing but trouble the past few days."

Bruce and Tony both shot warning looks in Thor's direction, but it was too late.

"Creatures?" (Y/N) asked.  "As in more than one?  Don't tell me you did too good of a job recreating this species?"  At Bruce's and Tony's guilty looks, her eyes lit up.  "How many are there?"

Tony closed his eyes in resignation.  "Hundreds.  There are hundreds of them and they just keep multiplying.  Thor's going to transport them to a planet where they won't be a problem.  This one has been sterilized, so it won't reproduce anymore."

(Y/N) placed her Tribble back in its cage and gave Tony and Bruce a wide smile.  "I want to see them!"

She took off running toward the lab and by the time they'd caught up to her, she was locked in the office surrounded by hundreds of cooing Tribbles, smiling and laughing as she tried to pet them all.

Steve came up behind Tony and Bruce, his arms around each of their shoulders.  "As mad as I am at you two for doing this, I have to admit, it's nice to see her so happy."

Sam stepped up to the glass and rapped his fingers to get (Y/N)'s attention.  "Have you thought about a name for yours?"

She grinned and gave Tony and Bruce a wink before answering him.  "Trouble."


End file.
